25 Albums Turning 25 That Don't Suck

1990.  For music it was year that in many ways was Lost in Limbo (Thanks Ace.)  Genre's of rock were peaking, ending and just starting.  And no one knew.  It would be the pinnacle of Thrash metal, the roots of Grunge were starting to sprout and the good times for bands of the Hair Metal genre were concluding.  In a little over a year bands like Winger and Warrant would trade major success to be punch lines as a snotty group of coffee drinkers from the Northwest would swap stripper poles for Doc Martin’s and alcohol for heroin.  All while harpooning the bloated whale 80’s metal had become.  Mariah Carey would sell the first of her 90 bazillion records with her debut release on her geriatric husbands record label.  Pantera would let the world know Texas has more than Steers and Queers and a band that would eventually change their name to Pearl Jam would celebrate my 20^th birthday by performing their first show ever on October 22.  As for notable dates August 21^st would be a wallet crusher for me as eight albums released that day wound up in my CD collection.  Four of which made this list.  And I'm probably gonna get some shit for including Soundgarden's Screaming Life/Fopp as it was a re-release combining their first two EP's from 87 and 88 but those were largely unknown and only available at shows and indy record stores.  The combo re-release was the first time it was widely available for a small down boy like me and that was in 1990 so for my fine tuned standards it passes.   


While compiling this list I noticed something of note.  25 years on, 21 of the 25 bands featured on this list are still active.  22 if you count Dokken as a Don Dokken solo project.  Factor in Mother Love Bone basically became Pearl Jam and if not for the tragic murder of Dimebag Darrell there's no reason to think Pantera would've sorted their shit out.  That would leave only Damn Yankee's as a band on this list not currently active.  Maybe we should bump them for Black Sabbath or the Scorpions for that anomaly alone.  Considering how deep into their careers many of these bands were in 1990 it is pretty amazing that so many of them are still bringing it so many years later.   

 

The oddness of the year didn’t mean a shortage of great music however.  I could’ve made it a list of much more than 25 but where would the fun be in that?  The end result is a mix of records as eclectic as the year.  I tried ranking them in some sort of “Bakko Approved” order but I found myself putting records ahead of records I had behind the one I felt it was better than the one I placed it ahead of.  So you see my problem.  Bottom line.  It may be hard to label 1990 as the year of "whatever" but a lot of good music came out and that's what really matters.  Thanks go out to my fellow Decibel Geeks for their help in making sure nothing missed consideration.  This list should serve as a way to add dialogue to your music acumen.  And yes.  That might be an oxymoron.  Without further ado.   I give to you, in my expert opinion, and in NO particular order…

 

25 Albums Turning 25 That Don't Suck 

 

Primus - Frizzle Fry

 



Slaughter - Stick It To Ya

Black Crowes - Shake Your Moneymaker

Prong - Beg To Differ

 

Death Angel - Act III

Soundgarden - Screaming Life/Fopp

Danzig - II Lucifuge

Mother Love Bone - Apple

Pantera - Cowboys From Hell

Alice In Chains - Facelift

Anthrax - Persistence Of Time

Queensryche - Empire

Megadeth - Rust In Peace

Slayer - Seasons In The Abyss

Kings X - Faith Hope Love

Tesla - Five Man Acoustical Jam

AC/DC - The Razors Edge

Stryper - Against The Law

Testament - Souls Of Black

Y&T - Ten

Firehouse - S/T

Damn Yankees - S/T

Helmet - Strap It On

Don Dokken - Up From The Ashes

Pretty Maids - Jump The Gun

 

 

So there you have it.  With no explanation.  You'll just have to trust me.  Disagree?  Feel free to let me know and I'll explain why I'm right.  Many if not most of these albums are available from streaming services but if you're old school like me you want to own your music.  Find one of few record stores left, head to a pawn shop or scavenge your neighborhood garage sales.  And all of these can be found on Amazon.  Music makes you happy.

HATE MAIL

God Of Thunder Thighs

“Even the best chicks can only last a couple of hours.”

I was years away from my first sexual experience when I first read that quote from David Lee Roth.  Yet despite my inability to truly comprehend what he was saying, something about that comment resonated with me.  That comment and the ability to come up with it seemed to embody everything I wanted to be.  In my pre-pubescent brain, it was quite possibly the coolest thing to say.  It oozed with confidence and dripped a sexual overtone that came with being a rock God.  That was before he became a caricature or a punch line to some lame 80’s rock joke.  No sir.  This was Diamond Dave in all his high kicking, spandex sporting Rock God glory.  And everything I wanted to be. 

As much as I found myself in awe of the bands I saw in Hit Parader and MTV, I was never star struck.  What I felt was more like desperate separation.  Like “If these guys only knew me, we’d be best friends.  I’d be the one dorky teenager they’d want to hang out with.”  I longed to be part of something out of my reach and I was frustrated.  I saw my surroundings as something I couldn’t put behind me quick enough.  I was a boy out of place.  An rock n roll astronaut stuck on earth.  A devil in the church.  I looked at rocker’s like Diamond Dave and dreamed of what it would be like to be them.      

But that’s just it isn’t it?  When you’re 15, rock stars seem ageless.  Old enough to do all the cool shit but not old like your stupid parents.  Parents are lame.  They eat three meals a day and go to church every Sunday.  Fuck that.  Do you think David Lee Roth is worried about the 4 food groups?  There’s no way Gene Simmons has ever gone to church.  He was born evil.  Right?  Or so I thought anyway.

I'll clean your chimney after this song

Ah but 25 years later things have changed.  Gene Simmons is just an old Jewish man who’s gotten a bit fat. And Diamond Dave?  More like Dingbat Dave.  He’s just an old man.  He isn’t even kind of cool.  He’s a hokey vaudevillian type.  A Vegas act and a cheap one.  In fact both Gene and Dave have taken their talents to Vegas.  Turns out, they were never as cool as I once thought they were.  In reality nobody is.  Cool is façade.  Cool is an illusion.  An outfit.  Shoes and makeup.  Lighting and cheap fabric.  Behind those serious faces of musicians who glamorized binge drinking and groupie sex were guys running on treadmills and avoiding alcohol to preserve their voices while making sure their tour riders included plenty of fresh fruit.  Lyrical reference’s to drugs and neck tattoo’s portray an image that often masks reality.  (Insert Buckcherry reference here) 

Ok so not all of them were healthy eating monogamous phonies but plenty of them are.  And I find it interesting the way our rockers age.   You can tell how successful a musician was and how relevant they still are by the way they look.  If you ran into Chuck Billy and James Hetfield at a San Francisco bar in 1988, you wouldn’t see the stark difference in appearance you do now.  Chuck Billy looks like he ate himself while Mr. Hetfield has on a pair of jeans and a t shirt that combined probably cost more than Chuck’s monthly rent on his apartment. 

Chuck Billy. Living the Dream

By 1992 Metallica were beginning their run as the biggest rock band on the planet while Testament was already into the downside of their career cycle.  20 years later they are both still going.  Only one of them strong.  When Metallica fly’s their private plane to their next show, I don’t think the in flight meal is Big Mac’s and Dilly bars.  And when Testament is playing some 400 seat club in New Mexico, I doubt their rider has top end, low fat catering.  More like 6 tombstones and a case of diet coke.  Look at current pictures of U2, Metallica, and and compare them to current pictures of bands like Testament and Exodus.  You can tell who’s staying in the better hotel’s. 

Alas we all age.  Some better than others.  But Rock Gods are supposed to stay golden.  Finding out they don’t is like discovering the whole Santa Claus cover up.      

God Of Thunder Thighs

The silver lining of course is that when it mattered to me, the illusion worked.  When I was popping pimples and jerking off 7 times a day, it all seemed so real.  So awesome.  So cool.  Right around the time I realized most of the musicians I inspired to be were either horribly boring or just horrible people, I no longer cared.  And for some reason, I didn’t feel betrayed.  I look back with fondness at the way dreaming of Rock Stardom made me feel.  And while it can never be the same I miss it.  There is a small window of time where horror movies are something you can watch and find scary.  And if you never watch horror movies during that time you will never know that feeling.  That same sentiment is why I don’t feel like I was lied to.  The feeling I had was real.  And that is what really matters.

HATE MAIL