Tuesday, October 25, 2011

St. WTF?...LOUTALLICA Trailer Posted


I remember a few years back when Metallica released the virus known as St. Anger unto the world. I remember writhing in pain while trying to stomach half-baked song ideas, drums that sounded like they were played by Oscar the Grouch, and James Hetfield's horribly off-key vocals. I remember thinking that there's no way Metallica could possibly put out an inferior product.....I was wrong.

St. Anger now sounds like an absolute masterpiece in comparison to this new "project" that 'Tallica (as James always so cornily puts it) is working on with Lou Reed, known as Lulu.

I have to wonder if this is just a big work that these guys are trying to pull over on the general music-listening public. But then, I remember what all of Lou Reed's material sounds like. This album sounds exactly like what I expected and it still blows me away how horrible it is.

I know there's a lot of musical know-it-alls that think that Lou Reed is a musical genius. While I'll give the man credit for some of his lyrics and some inventive songwriting back in the Velvet Underground days, I think Lou Reed is about as talentless as they come when it comes to singing. Maybe that's the secret. Maybe James, realizing how bad his voice has deteriorated over the years, thought that bringing in Lou Reed to sing on part of this album would make him sound better. Either way, it still sucks.

We're Coming for Your Eardrums

You can stream this entire album on the official website that they set up for it but I'm not about to post the link for you. I don't believe in abusing people. I've suffered through the whole thing for you and can sum it up in one word......shit.

It's quite possibly the worst commercial album ever released (which fits right in to the rest of Lou Reed's catalog).

Don't buy it for your collection. It might rub off on your other CD's and make them sound worse.

Don't bother downloading it for free either. It would probably give your computer a virus that constantly plays a loop through your speakers of a voice saying "What were you thinking? What were you thinking?."

The only purpose for purchasing this album would be to play it for a friend or family member that's in a coma. They would probably run screaming out of the hospital.

Lars Ulrich has finally found a way to beat those pesky downloaders. Create an album that no one in their right mind would even consider downloading. Congrats!

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